Looking forward

Once I'm on the sleeved side my life is going to change so drastically and adapting to those changes is going to take a lot of effort. It's not the 'easy way out' that many people think it is (and to be honest most of the people I've had say that to me are bigger themselves) and there are going to be challenges.

* Obviously there will be a forced lifestyle change (kinda the point really) but it will mean that when I'm having a shit day, I can't binge away my feelings, I'm going to have to deal with them.
* Almost all social events revolve around food and so when my friends want to go to a buffet for dinner one night, I'll have to accept the fact that I'll be paying $50 plus for the $5 of food I'll actually eat.
* Being so overweight now has meant my skin has had to stretch to cover my excess baggage. I'll lose that excess baggage but the suitcase I stuffed it into won't necessarily shrink with me. There's a big possibility I will have loose skin; depending on how much there is will determine if I will need to consider surgery.
* I'll have to be very conscious of how much fluid and protein I'm consuming each day and will most likely be on multivitamins for the rest of my life.

I always have these thoughts in the back of my mind but not once have they been enough to deter me from this surgery. That's because there are some glorious things I'm looking forward to once I've begun my journey.

* Looking in the mirror and seeing the person I see in my mind. I've almost always been big but in my head I see myself when I was smaller. It's always a shock to see myself in photos or in a reflection as it jolts me how big I am.
* One day, maybe, my husband might be able to pick me up! There was never any carrying over the threshold for me! I weigh more than my husband should and he weighs less than my surgeon's goal weight for me! It will be nice to get down to an even par with him.
* Obviously being able to walk into any 'normal' store and know I'll find something in my size is a big plus.
* I won't feel ashamed to eat in public. I always feel everyone is watching me and judging the fattie.
* To have the energy and fitness to do the things I love. I haven;t been hiking in the past two years because I just can't go the distance. I know that I will be able to work my way back to my former fitness level and beyond!
* My back will get so much better. When your spine is rooted it doesn't help to carry the equivalent of a 12 year old with you every day.
* Finally, the most important, is I might even start to like myself a little. I'm never going to be a super model but when I'm smaller there are things I like about myself. I used to have amazing legs, when my face is smaller my eyes are less piggy and much nicer. I'll stop worrying about having a double chin and smile more often. Little things like that might lead to other things and you never know, maybe one day I'll come to love me.

And so there's o many things to look forward to, things to be aware of, struggles I'll face. All I know is it's going to be one heck of a ride ;-)